A NewYork man wants to marry his Computer, like legally n shit…

25 Feb

Im telling you Hollywood is making us crraazzzyyyy…

In New York, a man was denied the “right” to “marry” his computer. Not as some scam ofr joke, but like, legally and shit. And now, to my primal shock, he has sued the state of New York to get his basic civil right.

Good for you man, who is the state government to tell you that you can’t marry and love a 2-3 Kg plastic and machine. That’s the job of the Psychiatrist…

America, where you have the right to do anything, like literally anything… May be they are taking their constitutional freedoms a bit too far.

ACLU Sues! Defends Man’s Right to Marry “Comput-Her”

January 22, 2064 – Associated Depressed –

NEW YORK CITY — The American Civil Liberties Union has sued the state of New York over the issue of digital marriage rights, saying the official decision to refuse benefits to a man trying to marry his homebuilt “comput-her” is a violation of his rights as a citizen of the new United Americas.

The lawsuit filed Tuesday says the state has put hundreds of couples in virtual limbo as they wait for the case to go through the appeals process.

“This decision is just devastating,” said one hopeful bystander. “We were all eagerly waiting to move forward with our engagements, but now we have to wait even longer. It’s just not right!”

There is a press conference scheduled this afternoon where the ACLU will discuss the lawsuit filed on behalf of J. Erkoff and his digital debutante.

New York Gov. Jason Grestaki did not respond to numerous voicemails left at his state house office.

More than 1,500 couples, all across New York, have filed for provisional digital marriage certificates in preparation for what they thought would be a “landmark victory” today in court.

Peter P. from upstate New York told Raymmar.com: “We are extremely disappointed. We had hoped to get married online in a few months and it looks like we will have to postpone our wedding, yet again.”

The state made it clear that it would automatically extend the expiration date on the provisional digital marriage certificates, but would not recognize them as “official” until the legal process has a chance to “play out in court.”

A spokesperson for the court stated that “the validity of any other pre-existing marriage certificates will ultimately be decided by the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals,” which is waiting on the proper paperwork in order to process the appeal.

“I just want to move on with my life,” said Erkoff as he left the court. “This is not a new issue and it is about time the courts recognized these marriages as legal.”

The controversy over digital relationships started shortly after the movie Her was released back in December of 2013.

Highlighting the life of a lonely writer who fell in love with his operating system, the movie was a harbinger of things to come.

Over the last 50 years we have seen the romantic lines between humans and computers dissolve. The issue has made news recently because of the proliferation of artificial intelligence, and the fact that humanoid machinery has become a larger part of our every day lives.

These digital assistants, which first entered our houses as nannies, maids and personal chefs, have crossed the line from convenience to controversy in recent years. There have even been reports of ruined marriages due to affairs with machines.

“It’s just filthy and unnatural; God will surely punish the wicked” said one opponent to the Digital Marriage Act. “First them gays got married, and now this; What the hell is this world coming to?”

Some, such as singer/songwriter and influential pop icon, Phem Enisst are taking a completely different stand on the issue. She recently posted this message on her Instawall:

“We should be so lucky as to have men marry machines, we’d no longer have to be slaves to the male species and that is defs a world I could live in. #MachineSex #DMequality.”

In the last 50 years the ACLU has made considerable progress in the fight to defend individual liberties. “We will continue to fight against this injustice until the courts rule in our favor,” said Steve Ignant, legal director of the ACLU in New York. “We will take this all the way to the Supreme Court if we have to!”

“This is just one of a number of lawsuits we will be spearheading across five different states in defense of the Digital Marriage Act,” Ignant told me as he walked away. “There are currently only five (states) that recognize provisional certificates, and that’s just not good enough. We will win… We are going to win this battle… you’ll see; we always win.”

This article first appeared on Raymmar’s website: raymmar.com

Follow Raymmar Tirado on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RayTirado

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This story was taken from:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/raymmar-tirado/aclu-sues-defends-mans-right_b_4779231.html?utm_hp_ref=funny-news

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/raymmar-tirado/aclu-sues-defends-mans-right_b_4779231.html?utm_hp_ref=funny-news

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Oh baby i like the way you Mooooooo… Japanese beastiality porn come to the U.S…

24 Feb

Not sure if its the right kind of thing to import from Japan (not that they actually do that stuff there) but these 2 guys must really be sick of women or must be into some really lose vaginas. Whatever happened to the good old days of Porn+Tissue+Locked Doors. Looks like these guys need to be taught about porn because they are putting out their sexual frustrations in some weird kinda way.

I wonder how PETA would react to this… I mean its not harming the cows, its just sex.

 
Michael Jones and Reid Fontaine are accused of sexually abusing cows.

A farmer in Herkimer County, N.Y. couldn’t figure out why his cows seemed more anxious than usual.

When they weren’t producing as much milk as usual, he set up a surveillance camera.

What he saw shocked him: two men were rolling in the hay with his livestock, CNYCentral.com reported.

The farmer, whose name has not been identified, contacted authorities who conducted their own investigation.

As a result, Michael Jones, 35, and Reid Fontaine, 31, were arrested for misdemeanor sexual misconduct, UticaOD.com reported.

Authorities said Fontaine attempted to have sex with several cows while Fontaine filmed the encounters, according to Syracuse.com.

The two were released on an appearance ticket.

The suspects aren’t the first men accused of having a cow in the Biblical sense.

In 2008, Brazilian cleaner Getulino Ferreira Paraizo was accused of having sex with 400 cows. He said he preferred the more tranquil animals.

It might be better to think twice before attempting sex with cows or any other animals.

a 2011 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind.

This story was taken from:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/23/reid-fontaine-michael-jon_n_4840560.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

 

Care to donate… How about some weed ???

24 Feb

Not your average box of donation stuff haan!!!. Looks like somebody reeaallyy forgot where he hid his stash of weed when he/she accidentally donated it to the Salvation Army. Man those must be some lucky kids…

Big Bag Of Weed Donated To Salvation Army

 
File photo.

SUGARCREEK, Pa. (AP) — An act of charity may end badly for one donor to a Pennsylvania Salvation Army outlet.

Sugarcreek Borough police say they were called when workers found a large plastic bag of marijuana among some donated clothes.

Police Chief Matt Carlson tells the (Oil City) Derrick (http://bit.ly/1gnLZm2 ) he suspects the owner of the drugs has noticed them missing by now, if only because the bag contained a “substantial quantity” of pot.

Police were working with store employees to determine who donated the clothes and when. Police say the drugs were found earlier this week.

The chief says this isn’t the first time officers have investigated an unusual item among donated clothing saying, “we’ve had guns … cash … rings, and now marijuana.”

Information from: The Derrick, http://www.thederrick.com

This story was taken from:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/23/marijuana-salvation-army_n_4842126.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

For the original headline, please visit the above link.

OMG. Russia has the worst version of Google Translations…

23 Feb

Looks like the Sochi organizers either used a 1999 version of Google Translations or they just thought like… whatever… who reads English anyways. Some were profane, some were funny and sorry to say this Russia but… some were just down right stupid.

The following story is from my Mooossttt favourite Youtube channel CollegeHumor. Do check them out, you will laugh your ass out.

I guess when your hotel doesn’t have a floor, a “shower of sensation” is a welcomed luxary. 

 

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This story was taken from:

http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6953163/10-lost-in-translation-fails-at-the-sochi-olympics

Do check out the original like along with other funny stuff at CollegeHumor.com